Feelings are a spectrum. You can only experience as much of the positive feelings as you allow yourself to experience the negative.

I think i've been in a state of melancholy.

I haven't been able to experience intense joy because I've been avoiding the sadness.

I know the sadness is there but I've been refusing to feel it; hoping one day it'll just go away and things will feel better. good again.

unfortunately, the only way out of an emotion is through it.

I guess sometimes i'm scared it i let myself feel the sadness, ill get stuck in the feeling.

the truth is I'm keeping myself stuck by not allowing myself to feel it.

I've been holding onto the feeling by avoiding it and what I know for certain: anything I choose to hold onto will grow - for better or worse.